Friday, April 04, 2008

Balancing the books, Olentangy style

Balancing the books, Olentangy style: starring Ma and Pa Kettle

With the budget process in full swing, it's time for a classic short: Ma and Pa Kettle starring as district administrators in Balancing the books, Olentangy style.

Let me set the scene:

While district administrators excitedly present their new budget, the board (off camera) furiously takes note, all the while beaming with pride. Somewhere in the audience, a Wendy's bag crinkles.

In the very next scene, board president Galloway leans toward the microphone, heart racing, "Folks, what we have here," voice rising, "is a presentation for the annual Ohio School Boards Association conference. We're goin' to Columbus."

Meider, shaking, asks, "Does this mean another celebration?"

Galloway smiles, "It sure does. Break out the balloons and start printin' the awards."

McFerson laughs, "Yes, oh yes. Awards all around!"

Galloway, turning to the press, half winks and clarifies, "Oh, and remember, Galloway has 2 L's."

Standing, Galloway clears his throat and begins, "For I'm a jolly good fellow, for I'm a jolly good fellow ... "

Feasel nods to the audience, baton on hand, and signals the OFK chorus to pick up the tune ("For he's a jolly good fellow").

The meeting room becomes a ruckus. Camera fades. Scene ends.

And you wonder how a three year-old law got missed during one of these district working sessions.

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