Most people know that Americans benefit from high taxes, powerful unions, limited consumer choice, and strong government control. But most people lack the training to fully understand why we derive benefits from these policies, and why government control over public anything results in unsurpassable quality. To remedy your "knowledge deficit" you can ask us any question you choose, and it will be explained by the legendary Professor Paul Krugman in a language that you can understand. From the evils of profiteering, corporatism, and economic exploitation to the rewards of regulation, social justice, and community/stakeholder involvement, Professor Krugman will use his agile mind to clarify the otherwise intimidating field of economics.
One sample spoof of Krugman:
Economics Primer 20: Financial Advice
By Paul Krugman
12/20/2005, 12:16 am
No economics primer would be complete without some personal financial advice. And so, here are some tips; allow my genius mind to feed your ignorance.
1. Spend all your money; you’ll always have Social Security to take care of you.
2. Invest in a socially-conscious mutual fund. A good fund will not place your money with any company that pollutes, discriminates, exploits, or makes a profit in any way.
3. Always buy extended warranties, regardless of how much they cost. Fact: Some items will break: Fact: Extended warranties allow you to get these items repaired for free.
4. Buy lots of insurance, and keep those deductibles low. Insure everything in sight: Your house, your car, and if you can, your grocery bill, your utility payments, and your cable bill. Remember: After you pay your premiums, everything is free. Extra tip: Buy insurance to pay for your other insurance premiums.
5. Apply for welfare. Did you know that it is your moral obligation to be on public assistance?
6. Invest in a Times Select subscription. Why spend money on books and schools when you can instead be educated by Maureen Dowd and Bob Herbert?
7. Avoid shopping in warehouse stores, and especially avoid Wal-Mart. The Walton family didn’t get rich by charging low prices.
8. If you foolishly insist on shopping at Wal-Mart, be sure to tip everyone in sight. Your reward for feeding them will be a clean conscience.
9. Don’t buy items made in China; they will then own you. For that matter, stay away from items made in other states, counties, neighborhoods, or for that matter anyone else. Grow all your own food, make all your own clothing.
10. Destroy your house with a wrecking ball. You will then create a job for yourself when you need to rebuild it.
11. Default on your loans. Eventually, the government will generously forgive you.
12. Try credit card debt. By going into debt, you will be obtaining things for free. And, you’ll also be helping the common good by stimulating the economy.
13. Invest in foreign currencies. And then buy my books about foreign currencies.
14. If you own a business, force your employees to form a union. They will be better workers that way.
15. Pay more taxes than what the IRS suggests. Make it at least triple the suggested amount; any investment in your government will be returned to you many times over.