Wednesday, April 01, 2009

More district good news

I missed this one (HT anonymous):


Hot off the District-controlled presses:

"Olentangy School Board holds emergency session to discuss cutting costs and eliminating wasteful spending. Treasurer Becky Jenkins agrees to work 40.5 hours weekly until budget is brought down to 2008 levels.

In the spirit of the districts adoption of financial discipline the superintendent and board have voted to change the district motto to "Maximum Fiscally Sound Education For Every Student", Andy Kerr has begun to brown bag his lunches, and teachers have turned in their Smartboards, red iPod Shuffles and vowed to stop gabbing with each other during recess so as to actually prevent suicide attempts.

So moved with the shared sentiment of saving taxpayer money, Jeff Brown conceded that his recent cost cutting measures 'were just a goof' and began to compile a serious 'for real--really!' list of job consolidations and headcount reductions. Principals and other administrators also vowed to reimburse mileage to the tune of only 3 times around the world instead of the 5 times around the world they claimed to have travelled on district business in 2008.

Board President Pro Tempore Scott Galloway said, 'This is the dawn of a bold, brand new era in Olentangy. One that balances being fiscally sound while also being egregiously--er--excellent in every way. And let me repeat that Dimon McFerson is the bravest leader I know and he's the wind beneath my wings'.

Acting Board President Julie Feasel nodded in agreement."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You scared me to death in the last post, and now you got my hopes up that the district was finally getting their act together.

(hyperventilating) I can't take much more of this...